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Her Diary

Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 10:44 am
by ARNU
14h
Her Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. I just cried.He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. I cuddled him closely and at first he pushed my arm away but I managed eventually to arouse him and we made love. He didn't really seem into it but he kissed me before he rolled over and said everything would be OK.


His Diary:

******** Dagenham and Redbridge got relegated ! Total wankers! Got a shag though!

Re: Her Diary

Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 11:06 am
by stanton101
In the morning.......

The wife says over breakfast, who the ****** is Jonny hoof? You were moaning about him all night in your sleep, he seems like a nice man to me.
Later on, down at the station.............
It was an accident mate, I swear to god, the knife just slipped in to her....
Come on son, you stabbed her 57 times, and stove her head in with the toaster, pull the other one.........

Re: Her Diary

Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 9:32 pm
by durnzo
Quality!

Re: Her Diary

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2016 1:09 am
by The Romford Dagger
ARNU wrote:14h
Her Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. I just cried.He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. I cuddled him closely and at first he pushed my arm away but I managed eventually to arouse him and we made love. He didn't really seem into it but he kissed me before he rolled over and said everything would be OK.


His Diary:

******** Dagenham and Redbridge got relegated ! Total wankers! Got a shag though!

PS - Only a year since Wayne's 14th and two since 9th. Jonny Hoof couldn't do such a thing. Today I feel like I'm a Wayne in fan. Actually no I don't like him. Although, saying that... I've changed my mind again. He came 9th and 14th you know? Talking of waynein... Where's the sieve roof? Anyone fancy west ham Saturday? Talking of west ham.. they are only 3 places from 9th and 8 from 14th. You know who else guided a team to these positions? Wayne.
Edited the last bit for ya mate

Re: Her Diary

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2016 7:44 am
by ARNU
Just imagine you sitting with your pants down getting all excited drafting gay porn.

Re: Her Diary

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2016 11:04 pm
by The Romford Dagger
ARNU wrote:Just imagine you sitting with your pants down getting all excited drafting gay porn.
Wtf are you talking about now?

Re: Her Diary

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2016 11:18 pm
by bloke down the pub
ARNU wrote:Just imagine you sitting with your pants down getting all excited drafting gay porn.


SAD

Re: Her Diary

Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2016 7:31 pm
by DagenHammer87
I don't think this quite went to plan did it?

Still, a bit of lighthearted misdirection never hurt anyone, did it?

Arnu, if you're gonna apply for Thommo's job this summer - just send this in!

Re: Her Diary

Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2016 7:51 pm
by Chigwellian
Hahaha... Can just imagine Thommo sitting down on a toilet reading gay porn

Re: Her Diary

Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2016 7:54 pm
by mickeyblue
soo sooo sick

Re: Her Diary

Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2016 6:43 pm
by Paul from Barking
Oi, you'll be turning the detractors on